Tantrums & sleep support
No matter how many times I tell myself that ‘all children do it’, I still feel my anxiety rise when my child is having a full-on screaming fit in the middle of aisle 8 in Tesco. I’ve worked with children for over 15 years, and it’s true that most children do have tantrums. Unfortunately, this knowledge doesn’t make it any easier to battle the urgent desire to flee the supermarket, without looking anyone in the eye.
Through my extensive experience, I’ve learned some helpful tips and tricks for diffusing and preventing tantrums. They don’t work for every child and every situation, but they have definitely helped with the frequency and intensity of my own child’s outbursts.
Distraction
Distraction can be a surprisingly effective. I once nannied for a little boy who would have tantrums nearly every single day. So much so, that I felt anxious each time we left the house together. One day, we were in the middle of Hyde Park, and after I told him that: ‘licking the dog wasn’t a good idea’ he went from 0-100 in 0.2 seconds.
In the distance, I saw another little boy playing football. Putting on my most excited, high-pitch voice, I quickly suggested that we joined in with the game. It immediately switched his focus and, as we ran over to play, I was quietly amazed that the tantrum hadn’t escalated.
A few days later, I could sense another tantrum arising, this time I suggested that we look for ‘red cars’ and see who could find the first one. Again, he forgot all about the tantrum, I couldn’t believe it, it’s a technique I have used many times since.
2. Roleplay
Toddlers often have tantrums through sheer frustration. They want to be able to express themselves and find it difficult to do so, this difficulty comes out as a tantrum. If we allow children to express their frustrations through play and creativity, this could lessen the need for an emotional outburst. Role play is an amazing way for children to express their emotions in a safe and playful way. You can explore this through dressing up or even playing with figurines.
3. Sleep
We all know what it’s like to be overtired. We become frustrated and impatient. Imagine how this feels for a toddler who is unable to communicate their emotions. When an infant has been awake for longer than their little bodies can tolerate, it activates a stress response and the release of hormones like cortisol, that makes it even harder for them to settle.
Signs of over-tiredness can include:
Fussiness and crying
Difficulty to calm
Yawning
Overactivity – which can be interpreted as being ready to play, not ready to sleep.
It is so important for children to get the sleep they need to get through the day without becoming overtired. If your baby needs sleep support, please get in touch as I would love to help you reduce those tantrums.
4. Hunger
The food we eat, and the nutrients we choose to sustain ourselves with, have a big impact on our emotions. A sugar rush sees blood sugar levels spike and our energy rapidly increase, but what follows soon after, is the dreaded comedown – a complete crash and burn – and this is when the tantrums often kick-in.
Of course, I’ve had days when I’ve fed my child chicken nuggets and chips, that’s just part of parenting. But ideally, mealtimes and snacks should be both filling and nutritious, packed with a variety of healthy fats, proteins, and veggies, so there’s less room for tantrums to sneak their way into your day.
5. Focus and control
Children want to feel included and involved, and when a new sibling arrives, it can be very difficult for them to process the sudden divide in attention. It’s important to include the older sibling in as many activities as possible, giving lots of positive attention, so they don’t feel left out.
I once looked after 2 siblings who were very close in age. I noticed that the older child would often have a tantrum if the baby was taking up my time. The older brother would then let me know that he needed more attention by throwing things. I gave him a little control and asked him to make choices about the games we played, and I soon discovered that the tantrums reduced.
If your child is struggling to sleep then take a look at my sleep support packages and let’s get started together.
